The Tale of an Inexperienced Runner

**Warning:  This is me telling the tale in an attempted story-like version.  Enjoy**

I woke up early Saturday.  The sun was still resting behind the gloomy, gray morning clouds.  I stretched in bed for a moment, then put on my running clothes (laid out the night before) and my well-worn Nike's.  One look out the front door told me to grab a beanie and a jacket, and hurry up about it - it's cold!  As I layered up, I mentally prepared myself for the little light rain that would probably be falling during the 5k my friends and I were about to run.  I looked at the clock; 7:15 - time to go!  Lindsey, Danielle and I chatted as we maneuvered the roads to Center street in Provo, where the race would begin.  It was Danielle's first 5k, my second of the season, Lindsey's I-don't-know-how-many, but her one to check off for May.  Needless to say, we were all pretty excited.  As we approached the crowded street, my heart began to start the race without me!  Why am I nervous?  It's just a 5k!  The sight of so many 20 somethings all suited up for a race made my legs jittery as we rushed to pack in with the 8 minute-per-mile runners.  As soon as our feet stepped from grass to pavement, the race began!  Trying not to fall behind too quickly, but also ready to set a manageable pace, I quickly pushed through to an opening in the group.  Running makes my heart happy.

I set my pacing eyes on a woman in front of me in the bright purple zip-up.  She looked like a good runner - if I could keep just behind her, I was sure to have a good race.  The slight drizzle that had started early in the race slowly turned to large drops of rain.  Then, to corn snow and sleet.  Eek - not as fun as I thought it would be.  It's a good thing I had my thermal shirt and ear warmers!  I was feeling pretty great - pushing myself enough to hopefully set a PB (you know...personal best).  As we rounded another corner, past the Provo Town mall, my mind and my legs and my lungs knew I had about a quarter mile to go.  Up ahead I spied the '3 mile' marker.  Yippee!  Only about .17 miles to go! 

I began to push a little harder.  Who knew I had more adrenaline to give?  We turned yet another corner and my eyes left the ground to search out the finish line ahead.  As I strained to see beyond the crowd of runners all I could see was .... more runners.  Wait, what?  Um... how could my math be wrong?  Oh!  I bet the '3 miles' meant I'm on the 3rd mile, I thought.  Oh well, I guess I must be really pushing.  I sure am tired.  I kept up my pace and ran with little purple up ahead of me.  Soon, I saw another sign to my right.  The 4 mile marker.  Can't be long now!  I rounded another corner with the herd and my heart sank - cutting all adrenaline to my muscles and breathing organs.  Something was wrong.  My mind tried to figure out what had happened.  "How on earth did I miss the 5k turnoff?  Is a 5k a lot longer than I thought?  How am I going to find Lindsey and Danielle?  Are they even still in the race?  Should I just finish whatever the heck race I'm apparently in?"  Up came the 5 mile marker.  Done.  I stopped running, turned around, and flagged down the cop directing traffic. "Hey!  Hey!  Is this the 5k?  Where is the finish line for the 5k?"  "Sorry, I think this is the half-marathon."  "Oh. Thanks."  What the crap?!  Well, there is no way I was going to finish this race.  Not without a car or a bike or something...  Having no other choice, I crossed the street and began walking back to where I started, hoping to see the turn I missed or the very poorly marked alternate route for 5kers.  Pretty soon I noticed the marathon runners watching me as I passed them going the wrong direction.  Don't they have anything better to do than stare blankly at passersby who happen to also be wearing a race number? Oops.  They think I'm a loser.  I decided to take off my number, and jog back as if I were simply out for a run, of my own choice, somewhere in the boonies of Provo.
About 5 minutes into my decent, a man pulled up in a beat up Toyota.  "You ok?" He yelled out the window.  "Ya... I, I'm fine.  I was supposed be in the 5k."  "They started like 1/2 hour ago!?"  "Oh. OK - thanks sir."  I managed to say that last thank you without crying.  I was not happy.
Fortunately, not 5 minutes later I see Danielle and Lindsey walking towards me.  Instantly my gloom turned into hysterical embarrassment.  "What did we DO?"  As they shared with me their version of inner thoughts as they ran on... and on and on....we all laughed and concluded that we had begun the wrong race from the start.  Our exciting 5k had been on another course completely!  I laughed and guffawed at our horrible, hilarious mistake and we all trudged through the now frigid snow.  We passed a ding-dong man unloading goods at the local 7-11.  As we walked by he yelled, "Aren't you going the wrong way?" "Yes." "Oh.  Want a doughnut?"  "No."   We kept laughing and walking and passed a woman changing the trash in front of the gas station.  "Ha!"  she cackled, "Cheaters, eh?"  More laughter and also some glares came from our end to her and her smelly garbage.  We finally made it to Lyndsey's sister's home, where we planned to have her take us back to the start and return the shoe clips that kept track of us as we wandered who-knows-where around Provo. 
And this was the end.  I sure enjoy a good race, and that was as good as they come!