Teacher Thoughts

The end of the school year is finally here! These past few weeks have seriously been the longest weeks of my life - waiting for a break. My student teaching and this past semester as a "real teacher" have been quite a challenge for me. I've learned that teaching is nothing like what they told me it would be at BYU.

Classroom management is key to having a successful teaching experience and I have definitely not mastered this concept yet! For the past year my lack of management success has stressed me out big time. I have been unable to really enjoy the students and the teaching like I thought would. (I figured this would come naturally... not true...for me at least :) ) At times, I have been terrified to come to class worrying that I will lose control of the students, end up yelling at them, and then crying my eyes out as soon as they leave.

Now that the end is here, I have been able to finally relax. My students come sparatically, they are happy to almost be done, and class time is very low key as far as actual instruction goes. We mostly play 'educational' games. (I guess this is the nature of resource with end of the year activities, dance festival, assemblies, and field trips). I've had a chance to reflect on some of the good times and the moments that have made this struggle seem worth it. I mean, part of me thinks it is insanity that I have accepted a job this coming Fall despite my struggle to make it through this year! But somewhere deep in there I know that it is moments like these that make it all worth it:

Funny moments:
- "I scream like a girl. But that's only for emergencies." said by a third grade boy
- "Miss Moody! I have 34 scratches!" (said proudly) "But you have more than me!" "I do?" "Yep, on your face!" (referring to my acne!! hahah)
- "Miss Moody, are you still in high school?" I don't think I will ever look old enough to be teaching...
- "How old are you, Miss Moody?" "How old do you think I am?" Answers ranged from 17 to 40... oh man. I guess I look old enough to some students.
- "Why did you put your hair like that? You should wear it down."
- "I like it better when your hair is in your face." (meaning my bangs shouldn't be pinned up)
- "You are my most beautiful teacher!"
- "I like your class a lot Miss Moody!" "Oh, thank you!" "Ya, you give out lots of candy." (during my bribing phase. Not really proud of the reason why they liked me..haha)
- Written in a note: "Thanks for all you do. You teached us a lot!"

But really it's for these reasons:
- Seeing a student finally understand a concept
- When all students pay attention and answer questions at the same time! (Even if it only lasts for 2 minutes)
- Talking to a student about his behavior and seeing him make the effort to actually change!
- Laughing and joking
- When a lesson goes exactly the way I planned it to! (few and far between, but at least I know it can happen)
- Seeing one student help teach another a concept he just learned himself
- Being able to help my students see happiness in life when many of them struggle with so much outside of school

I don't know how much difference I have made this year, but I am grateful for the experiences I've had. Oh boy it's been hard! And I am glad to have a summer in between, but I really am excited to start fresh again at a new school, at the start of a school year, with all of this knowledge and new ideas of how to change for the better.